Things I’ve learned…
I loved this interview with Kevin Kelly where he reflects on turning 70 and shares his 103 bits of advice on life.
Toward the end of the podcast, Stephen Dubner asks Kelly if he thinks there is too much or too little advice in the world. Somewhat unexpectedly (at least to me), Kelly answers the latter and says he wishes more people would “try and reduce or extract what they know into something that’s readable and transferable.”
I expected a different response because I find so many of the Twitter threads and ‘lists of what I’ve learned at some milestone age’ to be nauseating. Often ego-driven and click-focused, those posts are rarely transferable or even all that readable. Kelly is the exception and despite my bias against these lists, I see the wisdom in his desire.
By sitting down and jotting down such a list, if done sincerely, we can open up a window into ourselves for others. I’m intrigued by this and would like to see less of it from people I don’t know and more from those I love and respect. It’s an opportunity to get to know them better.
Listening to the podcast and reading Kelly’s post reminded me of a time last year when I attempted this with a couple of friends. These are guys that I met and became close with when we were studying together in Nanjing, China, in 2005. Each of us had recently turned 40 and were discussing how we felt about it. We challenged each other to write and share short lists of what we’ve learned.
Here’s what I put together; adapted and expanded slightly after listening to the podcast:
Find moments to be authentically and perceptively present with your loved ones
Listening is probably my greatest skill. It’s brought me immeasurable value.
Give people the benefit of the doubt, but don’t make excuses for bad behavior.
Examine what you resist. The things we resist most are often the biggest immediate opportunities for growth.
Be vulnerable with others.
See a good therapist.
Give just a little more of yourself to others.
Get outside and observe nature,. Preferably near trees or water. Don’t just look, observe.
When in doubt, go for a walk. Or exercise.
Journal to test what you think and gauge how you really feel.
Follow your intuition. Let your curiosity and passion lead you.
Ask questions.
Find and explore your inner creative.
Live abroad long enough to become a local.
Embrace new experiences with less analysis.
Stretch and do yoga.
Deepen relationships that matter.
Learn to cook and appreciate food.
Learn compounding (interest and habits).
Read often and not so predictably.
Read what moves you, put down the rest.
Seek out new perspectives.
Write to write (and to figure out what you’re going to write).
Always try to understand the motivations involved, but be careful of your assumptions.
Find even the smallest of ways to fight inertia.
Try to be the first to engage in conversation with others.
When traveling, eat where the locals are.
